Monday, February 11, 2013

Legend of a Suicide

Sun pools of light
under the eyes
and nose-beaks
made of untruth
yes you are human
Yes you are flesh
but no ordinary man?

What mortal creature
created you
My man
That you cannot even stand tall
Taller than the rose-bushes in your
London domes
Taller than your see sickness
Taller than your red hills
at night
scattered with pots of ghosts
taller than your father's Kashmiri village
so hateful
and mersmerising with

I saw you
I saw you
army boots
in a poultry farm
singing colour

I wanted to touch you

(in dreams even i run,
to hide from your poems)

and wipe on my
belly gravel
esessences of lips
curling angrily

My lover is
not mine
none will be
I lost you
I lost all

and have
since only wanted to lose more
someone says
i fear too many things
And I lie and say yes, I do.

The thing is, i still only fear


Come back in flash floods
in Tsunamis
Let me shiver
in the horror of your old love
let me write dead letters
let me be lonely as I always was
a virgin, a holy mother grail
a moonless light with soft blood
a tired tree with five thousand nights

All these that i am not anymore.

Let me be
let me be
let me be
let me be
let me beletmebe let me be
let me be

please leave me
I cannot even kiss
with a mind that has
demons with your sounds.

I want to die
before I see you

I was a hero
my man
Will always be
a coward.